The Duel

After finishing The Duel, the only thing I could do was stare at the TV in sheer amazement, wondering what I would have to do to get back the time I lost watching this movie.  If you ever saw The Storm Riders, it should be obvious that the same team is responsible for both movies.  But it’s painfully obvious that The Duel was an attempt to outdo The Storm Rider in every way.  And bless their little hearts, they pretty much succeeded.  It’s bigger, badder, louder, and brighter.  Unfortunately, I sat through it.  Twice.

Yip Su-King (Lau), also known as “Sword Saint”, has challenged Snow, “God Of Sword” (Cheng), to a duel atop the Forbidden City.  However, only 8 people will be allowed to view this historic event.  Dragon 9 (Cheung), an Imperial Agent, is charged with the task of picking the 8 lucky viewers.  But he soon finds himself investigating a series of murders, and all evidence points to a strangely absent Snow as the prime suspect.  As the day of the duel draws closer, Dragon 9, with the help of Princess Phoenix (who also happens to be in love with Yip), works to solve the case.  Unbeknownst to him, he may just have stumbled across a conspiracy that threatens the empire.

Now first of all, seeing as how the movie is named The Duel, there’s actually very little dueling.  Heck, the titular showdown isn’t even the point of the movie.  And it’s not even a very impressive duel.  Oh sure, the trailer makes it look cool.  But it mainly consists of Cheng and Lau - who, in all fairness, do look quite cool in their hair extensions - leaping and flailing madly about while all manner of energy bolts and shockwaves swirl around them.  The funny thing is that, despite all of those effects and wire tricks, the two never seem to get within 20 feet of eachother.  Must be some fighting style I’m not familiar with.

I could go on and on about the movie’s lame, anachronistic humor (which makes “Xena” look historically sound).  And let’s not forget the crude, sexual humor that abounds in the movie, especially the “8 limbs, 9 limbs” joke (I’d explain it to you, but there are children present).  James Bond references even pop up now and then, what with Dragon 9 being an Imperial Agent and all.  And that conspiracy I mentioned earlier?  Thankfully, for the slower members of the audience, it’s all revealed within the last 10 minutes or so, just so you don’t feel like you’re missing out on anything plot-wise.

And if that’s not bad enough, we’re also treated to a feeble attempt to work romance into the story.  It’s just too bad that the filmmakers expected that to add depth to their characters.  The men, with the exception of Dragon 9, come off as cold and interested only in their dueling, revenge, honor, etc.  Dragon 9 just comes off as a lecher fond of crude sexual jokes and brothels.  The women, on the other hand, come off as either doe-eyed boycrazy teenagers or petulant little brats, and sometimes both at the same time.

But storyline, plot, characters… these things matter not to The Duel.  Extravagance, on the other hand, does.  The movie had a budget, and by God, the producers were going to use all of it.  Sure, there are parts when the movie is visually impressive.  The costumes, the scenery, the cinematography… it looks pretty cool (although all of the location-hopping does get a little confusing).  But it’s spoiled by cheesy acting (especially Cheung, whose hamming would embarrass Jackie Chan) and hokey dialog, and clobbered by the special effects.  And let’s talk about those effects…

I love CGI as much as the next red-blooded moviegoer.  But The Duel isn’t content to just dazzle the audience.  It wants to beat it into their heads that they’re watching powerful swordsmen and martial artists, and if that means a barrage of special effects that make no sense, then so be it.  But that just dooms the movie from the start.  Within the first 15 minutes, the effects grow tedious and boring.  Rather than convince you of the characters’ skill, it just makes them seem that much more ludicrous.  By the end of the movie, you’re struck with how artificial it all felt, as artificial as watching someone play a really cool video game.

I really had to laugh when I saw the American trailer for this movie.  I’ll give you two guesses as to which movies The Duel was compared to.  That’s right… Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and The Matrix.  But let’s think about that for a second.  We’ve got a martial arts/swordplay movie with a bevy of digital effects, so I guess it makes sense in a weird Hollywood marketing sort of way.  Unfortunately, that’s really the only thing about The Duel that does make sense.

Now, pardon me while I try and get 3 hours of my life back.

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• Sep 1, 2001, 12:00am